somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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