If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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