The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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