He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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