did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
