im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
