Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize