just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
