Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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