I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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