Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
