I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
