I wish life had little blips of pornography
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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