I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
