i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she smelled like a LAN party
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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