Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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