Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
