Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I want to be your penis for a week.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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