4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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