dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
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