He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
