Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
