On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
