I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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