nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
