This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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