I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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