Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
