if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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