If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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