lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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