hell yes lets make some ravioli
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
