Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
