I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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