i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize