Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
