dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize