it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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