my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
