I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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