It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
