my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We are all done wearing pants today
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
