oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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