Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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