Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
