considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.