Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize