i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
