on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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