What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
