i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Randomize
