i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
