i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
