At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
