Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
