Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
