okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
A+ Viking dick
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
