So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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