I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
