Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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