She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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