Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
