i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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