Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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