Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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