y did u give ur computer a hand job?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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