i would punch a child for taco bell
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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