She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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