yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
