Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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