Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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