i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
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I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
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I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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