You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
