She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
