Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Are my feet made of real feet?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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